🕓 November 24, 2015
This is a love-hate relationship with the rain. Here I am, lying on the floor, soaking myself up in this wonderful rain weather. Half of me is loving the weather, its coziness and its calmness -- just appreciating and enjoying Earth's shower. The other half of me going, "WTF ARE U DOING WHEN TOMORROW IS YOUR CORE PAPER." Then there comes this dilemma when I stop to think 'there's more to life than just studying and doing papers. Appreciating rain is something one shouldn't miss.' So yes, I am still here lying on the floor in the living room, fighting my own dilemma that holds me back from going to the battleground to mug.
🕓 November 22, 2015
Go away bad dreams, cause I have this kickass one-and-only dream catcher over here to protect my dreams.
On a side note: I finally figured out how to get my phone to read my mounted SD card! This means I can get Cammy's pictures onto my phone without a need for computers yay! A pity it took me so long to figure it all out (considering how long I've bought the SD reader for) but yay to me finally being able to do it hehe
🕓 November 21, 2015
I like standing along the corridor just outside my humble abode, leaning my entire body against that newly white-washed parapet. The night roads shine so ever brightly of red, yellow and green flashes. The cars seem to endlessly go past. And human traffic too, seem to be ceaseless. Watching and following those tiny ant figures as they go on with ther lives seems comforting. I take comfort that I have the time and privilege to be standing here, doing nothing at all when the world seems so busy on its own. It makes me feel detached from life's buzz for just a single moment. It's like I'm given time off my own drive and to take the backseat instead. In the midst of the daily struggles and scampers, I'm glad for this tiny moment of me.
What is real and what is not? What if the life we think we live in is all but a dream? What if the dream we think we dream of when we sleep is the true life we are living, except that we do not remember most of it?
Perhaps lifeforms are all but non-existent in this world that we know of. Perhaps we are all part of a virtual game. Our actions and thinking are comes not from us but an external partner. The player who plays out us that is. Perhaps life is nothing more than just a game on a virtual platform. Perhaps the reason why we need to sleep everyday is just so that our mastermind could pause the game and log out of our lives just for a few moments. Perhaps that's the reason why we are all alive but do not know the reason behind our existence -- because our lives is just a game of someone else.
🕓 November 14, 2015
I've been really thinking. Many a times, I get really upset through people's reply, or more specifically the way they reply. I throw in my own feelings and emotions during my own interpretation, start thinking about how they must have truly felt, maybe annoyed, maybe bored, maybe... just anything but those of positivity. Those connotative words seems to really work on me. I then push myself off the cliff into that deep abyss of all the negative emotions. And I just can't seem to find my way back up to the suspending bridge of happiness. It's like the more I try to set it aside... the more I find myself diminishing all the lights there are. In the dark abyss, when the only light-providing anglerfish is stripped off its reassuring light, reality then sets in. It all seems to be just another product of humane ugliness instead of a calming reassurance.
Times like this, I wonder. I wonder if it's alright to feel this way. I wonder if it's alright to read and interpret people's message in my own way. I wonder if it's alright when I throw myself into this abyss. It's scary thinking how I may never walk out of it until that someone comes to my saving grace. It's scary just thinking how if that someone chooses to walk away instead.
🕓 November 11, 2015
so here's the sad and lonely cheesecake that had to wait in the dark for 2 days since its birth.
(yes I know it's not the nicest looking nor is it anywhere near-perfect but it's perfect to me)
Such a bummer that I couldn't fulfill a promise I made (kind of casually) but thought it would be nice to. But well, there's a good in everything since I now share it with more people to help finish it!