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An end
๐Ÿ•“ October 6, 2015

As with all things, there is an end to everything. Days go. Time passes. Feelings fade. Things get replaced. Everything gradually phases out slowly but surely into a dull nothing. It doesn't matter how bright that initial spark is because time nullifies all. Just like a charcoal that has finally had its final breath at radiating warmth, it cools and pales to being just a cold, hard rock. Things get boring, like a chore. Feelings get dissipated, like a helium balloon leaking itself slowly. Its initial joy and excitement no more. You can only hope for continual joy as with the remaining helium. But ultimately, it deflates, completely. At this stage then, you can't help but to get a little more than sad or disappointed.... And why again, am I the only one feeling this? I didn't sign up for this, didn't I? Thanks for showing me that no, it doesn't all work out and really, everything has an eventual date with the grim reaper.

So ask me again whether I have trust issues? Yes, I do. It's hard to believe how things last. I can't. Everything just seems to have a definite end to them. I honestly do not have the capability to endure the sadness when it ends. so... Don't get started and involved. I guess that's the only advice to myself. Some times I wish I wasnt such a cowardice but yes, I am. All because whatever I fear may come true, always do.

To be
๐Ÿ•“ October 2, 2015

To be a little more understanding. To be a little more enduring and forgiving. To respect a little more. To have a much bigger heart than now. To not judge too quickly. To be a little more out-spoken. To be a person who dreams much more than today. To be a person who exceeds others' and self expectations. To be a person who dares to believe in the unbelievable. To take faith.

All these I cast upon my lacking self.


in the clouds
๐Ÿ•“ September 23, 2015

Sometimes, I get a little hopeful, or perhaps, too hopeful. I hopelessly dream about how things might be happening, painted in everything rainbow and flowers and butterflies. My mind has a compartment which secretly operates an independent full-blown threatre. It plays out realistic dreams and what I hope things could have been and might have been. I think of all the wonderful surprises and happenings. I think of the little magical moments it could have been. I think of how life fits perfectly like a near-complete jigsaw puzzle. And while my mind wires into this repeated loop of high and joy, I forgot that I'm just walking with my head in the clouds. Reality comes crashing in, making me fall at the speed of gravity, hard. It then sinks in. Nothing is as wondrous as what you may have pictured it to be. People are not fairy tale characters who parade out the roles you want them to be. A pinch of hopeless dreaming and a dash of unattainable high hopes equates to a whole load of disappointment. It sets me back. I get much more than a little sad, but it's all on my part. Sometimes I do wonder, if I'd be able to stop thinking into things and stop hoping for so much, wouldn't life just be easier? To wish for it is all I can do. I can't help but to dream and hope at times. Maybe this is why sometimes we all get a little sad for no reason at all. You can't actually pinpoint why you are sad because nobody did anything wrong, all except your dynamic little thoughts in the clouds.

Time to let those thoughts and feelings stay up there with the clouds. In the clouds, that's where they belong.


Don't be
๐Ÿ•“ September 12, 2015

Don't be too quick to get angry, especially over little things.
Don't be too quick to assume things you don't know of and start criticizing or judging.
Take a moment, to just absorb and think through things carefully and thoroughly. 
Give a chance for explanation and reasoning, to just see both sides of things.
Some times, it is these little things that matters. At the end of the day, it is these little things that people remember and and look to, along with all those negative connotations and memories stuck with it. It is these things, which make people frustrated and offended.
Of you. Of your actions and more than a little hateful attitude.

Maybe it is time for a little breather for us all ugh


Animals in captivity
๐Ÿ•“ September 10, 2015

Hi there. The reason for being here after a hiatus is because there is just so much feelz after watching "blackfish", a documentary that investigates the reason behind the killing of countless trainers by Orcas in Sealand and SeaWorld.

Throughout the entire film, there wasn't a part of me that agreed to the notion of animals in captivity. In fact, it made me ponder a lot. The documentary showed how the Killer Whales, or Orcas, were actually being hunted down for in the wild, just so that they could be deported to Sealand to do a fantabulous show and exhibit. The hunting crew especially hunted the younger Orcas so as to reduce transportation costs and ease handling them. When they did successfully pursue the family of Orcas and outrightly kidnapped the younger Orcas from their parents/older ones, you could just tell how much grief they were going through. They were echolizing with such intensity that it was really unbearable to watch. Just think about it. Imagine if you and your family are just casually going out to play/explore just like any other days. And then suddenly, you hear those thunderous, monsterous engine sounds from behind you, coming closer and closer towards you. They throw bombs at you to make mini-explosions and you try to swim away as fast as possible. But still, fate draws close and you witness your youngersibling/child getting taken right in front of your eyes and there is nothing you can do to save them. So... why are we still inducing such grief and exerting so much authority we do not have? 

We are but such a small, minute existence on this planet in the face of the world's wonders. And yet, we often over-step our boundaries, challenging our authority and rights. What gives us the right to kidnap a poor child and break up a happy family, all in the name of providing entertainment for the masses or even to educate or promote love for these animals? How ironic it is to be wanting the public to come to like these animals when the initial step is an act of the complete opposite? 

I understand that maybe not all captives in the world start out with the same motive as Sealand and Seaworld. I understand that zoos often stresses on how adequately they care for the animals, in the case of proper diet and nutrition (think all those fancy pellets that are specially engineered to contain extra nutrients/vitamins/minerals), right development and growth (think about the stimulation zoo staff tries to provide for). A box at the end of the day, is still a box. It does not matter how well you decorate or furnish the box. While all these are done to make these animals have a comfortable and quality stay in the zoo, it is not enough to compensate for their loss of freedom. Imagine behind trapped for an enclosure for all your life, being shooed into an open enclosure by day to be greeted by groups and groups of random people, and into the back areas/cages by night. Imagine only being fed when the zookeepers and management wants to. Imagine if you can't actually open the fridge at night whenever you are hungry to just get some comfort food. How terrible is that they are living under our scrutiny and control. While I like the fact that we can be up-close with these amazing creatures and interact with them, I can't deny the awful fact that they are still being held in captive. By us. We put them in there. And no matter how well we try to stimulate their captive lives with those of wild conditions, it's not real. It's not the natural settings they are supposed to be in. We cannot mimic all the factors of the wild when we are putting them in concrete and glass walls. 

Animals in captivity? I am reconsidering my naive standpoint of the past.


Better person
๐Ÿ•“ August 31, 2015

Sometimes we say things which we do not know the power that it yields, do the actions that we do not know how unbelievable it seems to be. To be a better person... well that's something to work towards to.