time flies

heyy.... it's been super long since I've lasted posted hahaha yeah i know. well... promos are over. but now we're in pw-intensive days and it sucks. I kinda like how days were so busy that you can't even stop to think and worry about life cause you're too stressed with life. But now, with no chinese & gsc... going to school just for pw sucks. I really.... just dislike my pw project. Sigh, no choice dude. I feel really trapped and constrained now, to be tied down to do some stupid pw stuff... and lost because.. there's so much different things to do, everything just doesn't fall in place nicely. it's all over the place. :( i think I need order in my life, like seriously. I'm kinda at a lost right now. I know I have a lot of things to do now but........... kinda just tired. what if i don't promote? what if i barely scraped through to j2? am I gonna repeat or crawl up to j2? sigh. JC life really just suck. Friendships made aren't given the time to grow strong, competition render all of us in a frenzied and individualistic state. But recently I think it's better hehehe. I love my friends more now hahah, sisterhood \m/. They're all so special and different hahaha. Lucky to have met them :) Having said that, I'm still thinking why I'm striving so hard and living for. I guess, just have to live to find out eh.

while i was reading through my blog, i realised, 3posts before this, I wrote about my 1st day in SAJC. Never gonna repeat/retain.. I wonder what gave me that confidence then. Now I'm struggling like some piece of shit cause I screwed up my fucking CTs. I just hope that my efforts for FE paid off. Cross my heart and hope to die.