October 6, 2015

An end

As with all things, there is an end to everything. Days go. Time passes. Feelings fade. Things get replaced. Everything gradually phases out slowly but surely into a dull nothing. It doesn't matter how bright that initial spark is because time nullifies all. Just like a charcoal that has finally had its final breath at radiating warmth, it cools and pales to being just a cold, hard rock. Things get boring, like a chore. Feelings get dissipated, like a helium balloon leaking itself slowly. Its initial joy and excitement no more. You can only hope for continual joy as with the remaining helium. But ultimately, it deflates, completely. At this stage then, you can't help but to get a little more than sad or disappointed.... And why again, am I the only one feeling this? I didn't sign up for this, didn't I? Thanks for showing me that no, it doesn't all work out and really, everything has an eventual date with the grim reaper. 

So ask me again whether I have trust issues? Yes, I do. It's hard to believe how things last. I can't. Everything just seems to have a definite end to them. I honestly do not have the capability to endure the sadness when it ends. so... Don't get started and involved. I guess that's the only advice to myself. Some times I wish I wasnt such a cowardice but yes, I am. All because whatever I fear may come true, always do.

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