November 14, 2015

Today's mood:

so.... this is really how I felt the entire day: 

I've been really thinking. Many a times, I get really upset through people's reply, or more specifically the way they reply. I throw in my own feelings and emotions during my own interpretation, start thinking about how they must have truly felt, maybe annoyed, maybe bored, maybe... just anything but those of positivity. Those connotative words seems to really work on me. I then push myself off the cliff into that deep abyss of all the negative emotions. And I just can't seem to find my way back up to the suspending bridge of happiness. It's like the more I try to set it aside... the more I find myself diminishing all the lights there are. In the dark abyss, when the only light-providing anglerfish is stripped off its reassuring light, reality then sets in. It all seems to be just another product of humane ugliness instead of a calming reassurance. 

Times like this, I wonder. I wonder if it's alright to feel this way. I wonder if it's alright to read and interpret people's message in my own way. I wonder if it's alright when I throw myself into this abyss. It's scary thinking how I may never walk out of it until that someone comes to my saving grace. It's scary just thinking how if that someone chooses to walk away instead. 


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